Parnucklian For Chocolate
–A novel by B.H. James
A dark comedy about what it is to grow up an alien in your own family and your own life.-
“Josiah looked down at the area of the kitchen table upon which Josiah’s mother had placed toast and cereal and milk and juice with a look of confusion. Noticing his look of confusion, Josiah’s mother said to Josiah, ‘Josiah, from this day forward, we will not be eating chocolate. When I say that we will not be eating chocolate, I mean that we, meaning you, will no longer eat nothing but chocolate. Some chocolate some of the time is fine, but as for the rest of the time, we need to start eating like normal people. Most, or I should say all, of your life, we, meaning I, have not treated you like a normal person. This is because you are not a normal person. You are special. But now I realize that I have possibly treated you too special, and now we have problems. So, from now on, we, meaning you, are going to be doing more normal things, like eating foods other than chocolate. But you mustn’t think that this means that you are normal, like everyone else. You are not. You must never forget that you are special. You are more than other people. You are part-Parnucklian, which is a wonderful thing. We, or I should say, I, simply feel that it would be good for you to do normal things for the time being. So sit down and have some breakfast.’”
B.H. James was born and raised an only child in Galt, California. He attended Catholic schools and had a dog named Pepsi. He went to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo where he majored in Sociology, which was slightly useless as he mostly took creative writing courses. He took too long to graduate, mostly due to his preoccupation with pursuing a career in amateur rodeo. Somewhere in his late twenties, he got tired of driving to and fro throughout the country catching steers, so he took a job teaching high school English in the International Baccalaureate program in Stockton, California, finding there his two loves: teaching and his wife, Liz, a fellow English teacher. B.H. holds a Master’s of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from the University of Nebraska. It was there that Parnucklian for Chocolate, B.H.’s first novel, began to take shape. B.H. currently lives in Lodi, California with his wife and their cat named Rooster.
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